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"We get to a cafe, order drinks, chat for a bit, and the second the waiter walks away, she drags out all of these charts and forms - even had a little A-stand for her presentation - asking me to sign up for Amway. I say my final goodbyes to my boss and workers, all lovely people, and duck out of the party before it winds down to go get coffee with this woman who I'd been hitting it off really well with, or so I thought. 'Hell, yes, I do.' She says we should go get coffee and then there is something she wants to show me because it might be the last time I ever see her. "Anyway, about an hour into it a girl I had been talking to all year comes up and asks if I want to get out of there. As far as stuffy office parties where the entire drinks menu is funded by taxpayers, it was pretty damn swinging. "I was leaving the office where I worked, a government department, so the end-of-year party was also a de facto farewell party for me.
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"Needless to say many laughs were had by all on behalf of his overestimated pain tolerance, and his Christmas dinner was thoroughly ruined because he said 'things didn't taste right' for several days afterwards." After turning redder than Rudolph's nose, and having mild hallucinations, he ended up vomiting all over the floor of one of the side server rooms of the restaurant. "Being more on the machismo side of things, one of the other guys accepted the challenge and chomped it down whole. He saved one and produced it that night at dinner daring anyone to eat it. "My team went out to a fancy Italian restaurant in the Denver area a few Christmases ago, and one of the guys had gone to a specialty spice store downtown and bought some whole Ghost Chili peppers to use in some chili. We collect them and share them around when we find a good one. "Let me preface this by saying that my team and I love hot sauces - the hotter and more exotic the better. But I won't be telling any more stories at holiday parties for a while." "A few days later she went to the dentist and had the tooth fixed, and it was a relief that no permanent damage had occurred. Regardless, I still felt like a jerk the rest of the night. To her credit, she was slightly embarrassed when she returned but stayed at the party and went out of her way to tell me that it was no big deal. "I felt completely horrible and informed her of what happened, and she ran to the bathroom to confirm. It wasn't completely knocked out, but it was chipped well enough to be unmistakable. After the initial shock had worn off and she cleaned up the spilled beer on her clothes, she turned to tell me she was OK, and if I wasn't feeling bad enough, my guilt skyrocketed: As she spoke I noticed that her front tooth had broken as a result of the bottle hitting her face. "As I did, my hand hit the bottom of a beer bottle just as my colleague put it to her lips, causing her to hit herself with it. Unfortunately, I got a little too caught up in the moment and, at the climax of a particular story, swung my arms in the air for emphasis. "I quickly caught up to the pack, thoroughly enjoying myself and telling many stories, as I am wont to do. I was tentative at first, but joined the fray once I saw that upper management was fully committed to the good time, i.e.
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Naturally many employees were eager to take advantage and enjoy the well-earned libations. "It was the first holiday party my office had hosted in many years.